Mark Zuckerberg Breaks Down, Admits He Has No Real Friends (2024)

Mark Zuckerberg Breaks Down, Admits He Has No Real Friends (1)

Mark Zuckerberg Breaks Down, Admits He Has No Real Friends (2)

PALO ALTO, CA

Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg has publicly acknowledged for the first time that he has not a single real friend. The news came as a shock to his millions of Facebook friends.

“I have 96 million Facebook friends,” said Zuckerberg from this Palo Alto mansion, “but not a single one of them that I can go for a beer with.”

The news that Zuckerberg has no actual friends, just fake Internet ones, spurred on a wave of sympathy from the online community.

“When I heard the tragic news, I friended him on Facebook immediately,” said local mom Alice Bickert. “I’m sure all my cat videos will keep him company of a lonely winter’s night. It works for me anyway.”

CNN reports that Zuckerberg was spotted entering a San Francisco nightclub all alone this past Saturday night.

“Everyone wants a piece of me,” said Zuckerberg, with a tear in his eye, “but no one knows the real me. I’m a complicated soul. So much more than my Facebook profile.”

After an utterly depressing press conference, Zuckerberg spent the afternoon diving into his swimming pool filled with gold bullion.

“These are my closest friends,” said Zuckerberg. “And they’re all I need.”

(photo credit: Jakob Steinschaden/CC)

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Mark Zuckerberg Breaks Down, Admits He Has No Real Friends (2024)

FAQs

Did Mark Zuckerberg betray Eduardo Saverin? ›

How Zuckerberg Betrayed Eduardo Saverin. Business Insider shows that Zuckerberg had been plotting with several people to eliminate Saverin's chances of affecting Facebook. As an LLC, the original company was formed in Florida, so Zuckerberg created a C-Corp in Delaware that would absorb the company in Florida.

Are Eduardo Saverin and Mark Zuckerberg friends? ›

The only close friend of Mark Zuckerberg before Facebook was Eduardo. Eduardo had sued Mark for diluting his shares in Facebook. So Mark's lawyers were looking for arguments against Eduardo which supports the fact that his actions jeopardized the company. They found out that Eduardo was accused of animal cruelty.

What happened between Zuckerberg and Saverin? ›

Facebook filed a lawsuit against Saverin, arguing that the stock-purchase agreement Saverin signed in October 2005 was invalid. Saverin then filed a suit against Zuckerberg, alleging Zuckerberg spent Facebook's money (Saverin's money) on personal expenses over the summer. In 2009, both suits were settled out of court.

Did Mark Zuckerberg have any friends? ›

Some other notable friends in Zuckerberg's other circles include Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg; vice president of ads Andrew "Boz" Bosworth; product chief Chris Cox; and Zuckerberg's wife, Priscilla Chan.

How much is Eduardo Saverin worth now? ›

Does Eduardo Saverin like the social network? ›

Eduardo Saverin

Thoughts on The Social Network: In a 2010 op-ed for CNBC, Saverin wrote “the movie was clearly intended to be entertainment and not a fact-based documentary.” In 2012, he hammered home the same point in an interview with Brazilian magazine Veja: "That's Hollywood fantasy, not a documentary."

How much is 0.03 of Facebook worth? ›

Facebook is worth $350B, so $100M is only 0.03% equity. He likely had more than that, but the article is old so the number today could be more like $500M.

What does Eduardo Saverin do now? ›

Today, through my venture capital firm, B Capital Group, I have the pleasure of working with and investing in entrepreneurs who are looking to change the world.

How much did the Winklevoss twins get from Facebook? ›

The Winklevii and Narendra alleged that Zuckerberg stole their idea to create Facebook. They sued in 2004, and after a legal battle that lasted four years, eventually settled with the Meta CEO for $65 million in mediation.

Is Elon Musk friends with Zuckerberg? ›

Mr. Zuckerberg and Mr. Musk have long teetered between being competitors, frenemies and outright enemies.

Was Mark Zuckerberg an introvert? ›

Monumental leaders like Abraham Lincoln, Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg all found success as self-proclaimed introverts and have all been seen as excellent leaders.

What religion is Facebook Mark Zuckerberg? ›

Mark Elliot Zuckerberg was born on May 14, 1984, in White Plains, New York to psychiatrist Karen (née Kempner) and dentist Edward Zuckerberg. He and his three sisters (Arielle, Randi, and Donna) were raised in a Reform Jewish household in Dobbs Ferry, New York.

Are Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk friends? ›

Mr. Zuckerberg and Mr. Musk have long teetered between being competitors, frenemies and outright enemies. The two have criticized each other over the years, including about Mr. Musk's SpaceX rockets, data privacy scandals at Meta and more.

Why was Eduardo accused of animal cruelty? ›

#4: Eduardo's Chicken Cannibalism Accusation

In the movie, Eduardo Saverin is hilariously accused of animal cruelty in an article published in the Harvard Crimson. The writers are incensed that Saverin fed chicken to a chicken while taking care of the animal for his initiation into the Phoenix Club.

Why did the Winklevoss twins sue Mark Zuckerberg? ›

The Winklevii—or Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss, to use their given names—first rose to fame in the mid-2000s when they sued Meta founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg, claiming he had stolen their idea for Facebook when they studied together at Harvard.

Does Sean Parker still own a percentage of Facebook? ›

Sean Parker

Parker owns 4% of the total Facebook shares which might seem like a small piece but in terms of gains, it translates into $4 billion. Some consider this share as a fairly deserved win for the contribution he provided to the social network.

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