The psychology of buying a house: Is it a key to happiness or just a source of stress? (2024)

For decades, owning a home has been seen as a hallmark of the "American dream" and a major life milestone.

It's "embedded in how we think about real estate," Mark Eppli, director of the James A. Graaskamp Center for Real Estate at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, tells CNBC Make It. And purchasing a home is a way to build generational wealth.

Things may be changing, however. For many millennials, home ownership is out of reach. About one in three millennials under the age of 35 owned a home at the end of 2018, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. That number is eight to nine percentage points lower than Baby Boomers and Gen X home ownership rates were at ages 25 to 34.

But what does that mean for the happiness of those who can't or won't buy a home? Is buying a home really a key to happiness, or just another source of stress?

Shopping for a house can make you happy

As humans, we have an evolutionary need for stability, community and neighborhood, which owning a home can provide, Christine Carter, a sociologist and senior fellow at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California Berkeley, tells CNBC Make It.

Being financially comfortable enough to provide your own housing is "an act of independence," Carter says.

People get a lot of joy and pride from the home-buying process, such as touring open houses, and getting approved for loans, because ultimately it ends with purchasing a house, which is a major life milestone, Eppli says.

"But, as the case with most items that are material, and a house is a material item, that joy can diminish across time," he says.

What the happiness research says

Research suggests that, as far as happiness is concerned, owning a home is no better than renting.

A 2011 study on about 600 women in Ohio found that homeowners weren't any happier than renters.In fact, the home owners "derive significantly more pain from their house and home," the study authors wrote. The reason? The home owners had less time to spend on leisure activities.

Another study on over 3,000 German adults over a 16-year period found that people experienced a significant boost in satisfaction during the first five years of owning a new home. But they didn't feel any happier about their lives overall.

Being a home owner 'limits your mobility'

A home can be a tether that "limits your mobility," Eppli says. "As your mobility is limited, your opportunities might be limited." For instance, if a young person purchases a home in a city, they may not look for jobs outside their current geographic area, he says.

Maintaining a home can also be expensive and time-consuming. Home owners may also have less time and money to spend on vacations, entertainment or eating out. "Homeownership often means forgoing other financial or material things," Carter says.

A 2019 survey from Bankrate found that the top complaint millennial home owners have is underestimating the "hidden costs" of home owning. Beyond the cost of a down payment and mortgage, home owners also have to be prepared to spend on repairs and basic maintenance.

A 2018 survey found that homeowners spent an additional $6,649 a year on average on home improvement projects. Experts say you should put $5,000 to $10,000 into a "home maintenance fund," and save between 1 and 4% of your home's value each year to cover maintenance and repairs.

We adapt to the good parts of home ownership — but not the bad

One strong reason why buying a home doesn't make us happier has to do with "hedonic adaptation," which is the idea that after a good thing happens, we experience a momentary increase of positive feelings, but eventually "adapt" and return to a baseline.

"As we start to own a home, we adapt to the experience of owning a home and across time, the joy or happiness from that seems to diminish," Eppli says.

On the flip side, we tend to have a harder time adapting to financial strain, Carter says. "If owning a home is creating a lot of chronic financial stress for you, that isn't something that you're just going to necessarily adapt to," she says.

"If it means that you have to work much longer hours and you lose time with friends and family members, then you're not going to adapt to that in a positive way or a negative way," she says. "It's just going to be a negative thing ongoing."

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The psychology of buying a house: Is it a key to happiness or just a source of stress? (1)

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Homeownership and America's growing wealth gap

The psychology of buying a house: Is it a key to happiness or just a source of stress? (2024)

FAQs

What is the psychology of buying a house? ›

The Emotional Appeal of the Home

Potential buyers are often drawn to a house based on their feelings and intuition. They may fall in love with a home because it's cozy or the perfect size for their family. While location and size are logical considerations, a home's emotional appeal is hard to ignore.

Does buying a house bring happiness? ›

Many studies over the years have shown that homeowners are, on average, happier than non-homeowners. In my own calculations, using the General Social Survey, 21 percent of people who own their home are “very happy,” compared with 16 percent of those who pay rent.

Is buying a home an emotional decision? ›

Emotion will typically drive your desire to buy a home. You might feel frustrated with your current living space or excited about the opportunity to experience life in a different area. Here are some of the most common reasons for making the jump into homeownership: You're tired of renting.

Is buying a house one of the most stressful? ›

Almost four in 10 recent homeowners (37%) said buying a home was one of the most stressful life events they had experienced – worse than looking for a job (28%), planning a wedding (23%), and having a child (18%). Read more: First-time buyers more stressed.

How stressful is it to buy a house? ›

According to KSL, securing a home and a mortgage is among the top 10 most stressful life events. The stress of buying a house ranks right up there with having a child or changing jobs. We get it. Buying a home, moving, taking on a mortgage—it all happens almost at once.

Is owning a house important in life? ›

Historically, the biggest advantage of owning a home is long-term financial security. For decades, home ownership in America represented stability because the housing market almost always went up in value, rewarding homeowners with equity and also a way to borrow money, should the need arise.

Is buying a house a big accomplishment? ›

Nearly 75% of Americans say that owning a home is a more significant measure of achievement than having a successful career or even raising a family, according to a survey from Bankrate.com of about 2,500 adults.

What brings happiness in a home? ›

Being able to feel relaxed and calm is essential for happiness at home, in fact 90% of those most satisfied with their home say their home always or often makes them feel relaxed. When looking at which spaces can offer us the chance to switch off, research found the living room and bedroom to be most important.

What emotions are attached to home? ›

When we think of our home we should have thoughts filled with happiness, contentment, warmth, love and security. It's more than just four walls and a place to eat and sleep, but it's where relationships are developed and where some of our biggest life events happen.

What not to do when thinking about buying a house? ›

6 Mistakes to Avoid When Buying a House
  1. Making Credit Inquiries. Every time a business checks your credit score — what's called a “hard inquiry” — it takes a little ding. ...
  2. Opening a New Line of Credit. Owning a new home means lots of new expenses. ...
  3. Missing a Payment. ...
  4. Moving Money Around. ...
  5. Changing Jobs. ...
  6. Leasing or Buying a Car.
Nov 3, 2022

When you buy a house can you change your mind? ›

You may use the form provided to you by your lender or a letter. You can't rescind just by calling or visiting the lender. Within 20 calendar days after your lender receives your notice of rescission, all money or property you paid as part of the mortgage transaction must be returned to you.

What are 3 disadvantages to buying a house? ›

Disadvantages of owning a home
  • Costs for home maintenance and repairs can impact savings quickly.
  • Moving into a home can be costly.
  • A longer commitment will be required vs. ...
  • Mortgage payments can be higher than rental payments.
  • Property taxes will cost you extra — over and above the expense of your mortgage.

What is the most stressful thing buying a house? ›

The legal process

Complex legal processes undoubtedly add to the stress of buying a home. Whether you're chasing solicitors for important documents or sorting through lengthy paperwork, it's arguably the most time-consuming aspect of the homeownership journey.

How many homeowners regret buying a house? ›

In spite of that, many people did manage to purchase a home in 2022. But according to a new report by Hippo, 78% of those who did wound up having regrets.

At what age does the average person buy a house? ›

In 2022, the average age of first-time homebuyers was 36, according to the National Association of Realtors (NAR). This is up from 33 in 2021. A more notable stat, however, is that only 26% of homebuyers in 2022 were first-time homebuyers — the lowest percentage since the NAR started tracking the metric.

At what age is it good to buy a house? ›

When you're in your middle years or older, chances are you'll have a higher, steadier income and a better idea of where you'd like to settle down than when you were first starting out. You'll also leave yourself time to build excellent credit, which may qualify you for the best available mortgage rates and terms.

What is the hardest part of buying a house? ›

Sometimes the hardest part about buying a home isn't finding it, it's getting it. That means there are too few homes and too many people needing a place to live. That means there are more buyers than sellers.

What are 5 benefits of owning a home? ›

Top 5 Advantages of Homeownership
  • 1) Financial stability. In terms of both lifestyle and monetary stability, buying a home provides a new sense of reliability to first-time homeowners. ...
  • 2) Financial strength. ...
  • 3) Tax benefits. ...
  • 4) Permanent residence. ...
  • 5) Sense of community.

What are 3 benefits of owning property? ›

Here are seven benefits of owning a home:

More stable housing costs. An appreciating investment. Opportunity to build equity. A source of ready cash.

What are 3 benefits of owning your own property? ›

Pay for improvements that add value to your home. Consolidate high-interest rate credit card debt. Cover the cost of college educations or start businesses. Purchase a vacation home rental property.

Why am I not happy at home? ›

There can be a lot of reasons for being unhappy at home, maybe you're not being allowed out or being kept to strict curfews or bedtimes that you feel you're too old for. Maybe you're feeling like no one is there when you need them, you're being hit or arguing with other family members.

What to do when you're not happy at home? ›

Here are a few simple things you can do every day to feel happier at home.
  1. Make Your Bed. ...
  2. Bring Every Room Back to “Ready” ...
  3. Display Sentimental Items Around Your Home. ...
  4. Start a One-Line-a-Day Gratitude Journal. ...
  5. If You Can't Get Out of it, Get Into it. ...
  6. Before You Get Up Each Morning, Set an Intent For the Day.
Sep 20, 2022

What are 4 signs of happiness? ›

Signs of Happiness
  • Feeling like you are living the life you wanted.
  • Going with the flow and a willingness to take life as it comes.
  • Feeling that the conditions of your life are good.
  • Enjoying positive, healthy relationships with other people.
  • Feeling that you have accomplished (or will accomplish) what you want in life.

What is the #1 feature to consider when buying a home? ›

1. The Location. They say the three most important things to think about when buying a home are location, location, location. You can change almost everything else, but you can't change your home's location.

Is it normal to have doubts when buying a house? ›

Yes, feeling buyer's remorse after buying a house is perfectly normal. Many homebuyers doubt their decision, even if initially they were ecstatic at finding the home. Buyer's remorse creeps in, especially after large financial decisions.

Why do people buy a house? ›

Homeownership also gives you and your family a sense of stability and security. It's investing in your future—equity that will grow with you the longer you are in the home. The more cash you put toward the home, the better the interest rate you could get. A low down payment increases the lifetime cost of your mortgage.

What brings the most happiness? ›

Science Says These Five Things Will Make You Happier
  • Practice Daily Gratitude. Expressing gratitude has been shown to do more than improve your mood. ...
  • Surround Yourself with Positive People. ...
  • Do Regular Acts of Kindness. ...
  • Spend More Time with Family and Friends. ...
  • Spend Money on Experiences Instead of Things.

What gives more happiness in life? ›

Find a sustaining and satisfying job; do your best to live in a happy place; surround yourself with social support; take care of your health; and be generous (in spirit, time and money) in order to pave your own personal road to happiness.

What truly brings happiness? ›

There are certain fundamental things in life that are more likely to make us feel happy. For example, if your basic needs are met through things like financial stability, good health, and a sense of fulfilment and purpose in daily life, then chances are you'll probably have a generally happier and positive outlook.

Is home a place or a feeling? ›

Home is not just a place where we live but it's a place in our hearts where we keep our loved ones close to us by that I mean it's the feeling of their presence around us which is what we miss the most.

How do I stop being emotionally attached to my house? ›

How to Not Get Emotionally Attached While House Hunting
  1. Keep an open mind. ...
  2. Remember it might not work out, but there will always be another house. ...
  3. Avoid homes that don't fit your budget. ...
  4. Keep the lines of communication open. ...
  5. Remember to have fun!
Aug 11, 2014

How do I let go of my house emotionally? ›

Tips for Emotional Sellers
  1. Start the process early. The earlier you start preparing your house to be sold, the easier it will be when the day comes to move out.
  2. Focus your emotions on your next home. ...
  3. Spend time fixing the little things. ...
  4. Get out of the house. ...
  5. Put yourself in the buyer's shoes.
Oct 19, 2016

What are at least 5 don'ts when buying a home? ›

Don'ts when buying a home
  • Don't start looking at houses before you're preapproved. ...
  • Don't shop at the very top of your preapproval range. ...
  • Don't wait until you save up 20% ...
  • Don't get too emotionally invested. ...
  • Don't forget to do your research. ...
  • Don't ignore the appreciation potential of the property.
Jun 30, 2022

Is it normal to feel overwhelmed after buying a house? ›

Buying your first home is a major milestone, and it's completely normal to feel intimidated or overwhelmed.

How do you deal with regret after buying a house? ›

If you have regrets about a recent purchase, these strategies might help you manage your buyer's remorse.
  1. Try to return smaller purchases.
  2. Make a budget to manage spending.
  3. Make the most of your situation.
Sep 27, 2022

What to do when you break up after buying a house? ›

Bought a House with Your Significant Other, But The Relationship Didn't Work Out?
  1. Buy out Your Ex's Interest. If one of you wants to stay in the house, your first option is for your ex to buy out your interest. ...
  2. Sell the Property/Divide the Proceeds. ...
  3. Attend Mediation. ...
  4. Initiate Court Proceedings. ...
  5. Conclusion.
Aug 25, 2021

What happens if you list your house and then change your mind? ›

It's your house — you can sell it. Or not sell it. You won't be penalized by listing sites, and if you change your mind in the future, relisting your property won't be any different.

What are the 10 reason to not buy a house? ›

Some of the reasons include: not having a down payment, having bad credit or a high debt ratio, having no job security, and renting being 50% cheaper. Other reasons include: moving frequently, being in an unstable relationship, being in a declining market, traveling a lot, or the fact that everyone else is doing it.

Is it smart to rent or buy? ›

Buying a house gives you ownership, privacy and home equity, but the expensive repairs, taxes, interest and insurance can really get you. Renting a home or apartment is lower maintenance and gives you more flexibility to move. But you may have to deal with rent increases, loud neighbors or a grumpy landlord.

Is it better to buy a house or property? ›

In general, you'll likely find it cheaper overall to buy an existing home, but that also depends on the market. A home loan is less risky than a land loan, and typically comes with a lower down payment and better interest rate.

Why is selling a house so emotional? ›

Perhaps your home feels like an extension of who you are, so selling feels like letting go of a piece of your self-identity. In other cases, financial woes could make downsizing feel like failure, where it's hard to let go and agree to a deal.

Can buying a house cause anxiety? ›

Being a first-time home buyer may cause stress and anxiety for many people. But if you fall into this group, it's important to remember you're not alone. It's normal to be scared. Buying a house is a big financial commitment, so feelings of apprehension are both valid and understandable.

Why am I so stressed about buying a house? ›

Shopping for a home is a stressful experience even in normal times. Partly it's the sheer size of the transaction — a house is the largest single purchase that most people make. Then there are the emotional considerations about lifestyle issues such as commute times, school quality, and neighborhood crime rates.

What do 75% of buyers regret? ›

Almost half of homebuyers wish they'd done this before closing. Don't make their mistake! A Zillow study found that 75% of homebuyers have regrets. Whether they paid too much or bought too soon, these people wish they had a real estate redo.

What percentage of homeowners actually pay off their mortgage? ›

Two million Californians are living a dream scenario for the American Dream: They own their home free and clear of a mortgage. New census stats show 29 percent of all owner-occupied residences in the state were mortgage-free last year, up from 23 percent a decade ago.

Do 72% of homebuyers have regrets? ›

A shocking 72% of homebuyers who purchased in 2021 or 2022 are reeling with regret over their home purchase, according to a study from Clever Real Estate.

What does a house represent in psychology? ›

The house can be a powerful symbol of the self, and often serves that purpose in dreams and art. The outside of the structure is that part of our personality that we show to others. The interior is what we think and feel inside. Our unconscious desires and fears hide in the basem*nt.

What factors influence buying a house? ›

Whether you are a first-time homebuyer or a seasoned investor, here are some of the most important things to consider when buying a home:
  • Debt-To-Income Ratio.
  • Duration of stay.
  • Job security.
  • Down payment.
  • Emotional state.
  • Local market indicators.
  • Mortgage rates.
  • Supply and demand.

Is your house a reflection of your mind? ›

The environment with which we surround ourselves is very often a direct expression of where we are emotionally and psycho-spiritually—our global state of mind. If we are distracted, we tend to lose things.

How does home determine personality? ›

Much of an individual's personality patterning originates at home. Not only does the child inherit certain family potentialities, but during his developing years, his attitudes, beliefs, ideals and overt behavior reflects the influences on him of home experiences.

What are the six main factors to consider when choosing a house? ›

Here are six factors you should always consider when buying a property.
  • Location. The location of the property is one of the most important factors to consider. ...
  • Size. The size of the property is another important factor to consider. ...
  • Property Age. ...
  • Property Condition. ...
  • Property value. ...
  • Your Budget.
Sep 20, 2022

What is most difficult step in buying a house? ›

What was the hardest part of buying a home for you?
Most difficult step of buying a homePercent of respondents
Finding the right property56%
Paperwork18%
Understanding the process and steps13%
Saving for the down payment13%
5 more rows
May 3, 2022

What increases home value the most? ›

Upgrades that add physical square footage or make the home feel more spacious
  • Convert or build a home office. ...
  • Finish your basem*nt. ...
  • Open up the floor plan. ...
  • Add stone veneer to the front of your house. ...
  • Get a door of steel. ...
  • Replace your garage door. ...
  • Update your mailbox and house numbers. ...
  • Touch up or re-do your exterior paint.
Jan 31, 2022

What are five things to consider before buying a house? ›

Learn everything to know about buying a home with our first-time home buyer guide.
  • Understand Your Monthly Costs. ...
  • Keep Your Eye on Interest Rates. ...
  • Commute Times Are Key. ...
  • Get Educated about Local Schools. ...
  • Check Out Local Community Life. ...
  • Take Noise Levels into Account. ...
  • Get an Experienced Real Estate 'Advocate'

What is the best reason to buy a house? ›

While owning a home is a big step that requires high upfront costs, there are plenty of long-term advantages that aren't always obvious. Aside from getting a place to call home, buyers also build equity, have predictable housing payments, and enjoy several other perks.

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