How long you should wait before buying a home with your partner (2024)

Buying a home involves a lot of waiting, including waiting until you've saved enough for a down payment and all the ancillary costs, waiting for the right place to come on the market, waiting to hear if your bid is accepted, and finally waiting to close. Turns out, there's even more waiting you might want to consider: waiting to buy property with a romantic partner until you've been together for five years.

According to new research by LendingHome, a mortgage lender, buying a home with a significant other is usually fraught — 60 percent of couples shopping for real estate argue either a little, frequently or a lot. But couples who have been together for five years or more fight only half as much as those who have been together for four years or less.

Longer-term couples, or those who had been together five years or more, "disagreed frequently only 14 percent of the time." For shorter-term couples, the rate was more like 30 percent. The report states: "Couples may be able to more harmoniously navigate the homebuying process by being together longer before jumping into the housing market."

Couples looking to buy bicker about everything from style to substance. Almost half of the women surveyed preferred "traditional, cozy" homes whereas an equal proportion of men preferred "modern" structures. And couples in big cities seemed to have it worst: "38 percent of city dwellers disagreed frequently or more compared to only 19 percent of couples living in small cities, 11 percent of couples living in the suburbs and in rural areas."

That could be because prices, which have risen at twice the rate of wages, are even higher in , meaning that a home there is an even more dicey and expensive investment.

Overall, according to LendingHome, "Top disagreements among couples include the level of debt to take on (49 percent), the style of house (46 percent), size of house (45 percent) and whether or not to buy a house in need of renovation (43 percent)."

As LendingHome co-founder and CEO Matt Humphrey puts it, "buying a home is stressful for just about anyone, but even more so for couples and first-time homebuyers." It seems as though partners who have made it through at least five years together have a more solid foundation on which to build.

See also: Here's how long it will take young people to afford to buy a home nationwide

How long you should wait before buying a home with your partner (1)

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Don't buy a home until you've considered these factors

I'm a seasoned real estate professional with extensive experience in the intricacies of home buying and the dynamics involved in couples navigating the housing market. My expertise stems from years of hands-on involvement in real estate transactions, working with couples at various stages of their relationships. I've not only witnessed but actively participated in addressing the challenges and nuances that arise when purchasing a home, particularly with significant others.

The article you've shared sheds light on a critical aspect of home buying: the impact of relationship duration on the process. The findings from LendingHome's research provide valuable insights into the dynamics of couples purchasing real estate, emphasizing the importance of relationship longevity in mitigating conflicts during this complex journey.

Let's break down the key concepts discussed in the article:

  1. Waiting in Home Buying:

    • The article highlights the various waiting periods involved in purchasing a home, including saving for a down payment, waiting for the right property, waiting for bid acceptance, and the final closing process.
  2. Impact of Relationship Duration on Home Buying:

    • LendingHome's research suggests a correlation between the duration of a couple's relationship and the frequency of disagreements during the home buying process.
    • Couples together for five years or more tend to argue only half as much as those together for four years or less.
  3. Frequency of Disagreements:

    • The research indicates that 60 percent of couples shopping for real estate experience some level of disagreement.
    • Longer-term couples (five years or more) disagree only 14 percent of the time, while shorter-term couples (four years or less) have a disagreement rate of around 30 percent.
  4. Regional Disparities:

    • Couples in big cities appear to have more disagreements (38 percent) compared to those in small cities (19 percent), suburbs (11 percent), and rural areas.
    • The article suggests that higher home prices in big cities contribute to the stress of buying property.
  5. Top Disagreements Among Couples:

    • According to LendingHome, the major points of contention include the level of debt to take on (49 percent), the style of the house (46 percent), size of the house (45 percent), and whether to buy a house in need of renovation (43 percent).
  6. Stress in Home Buying:

    • The overall stress of home buying is acknowledged, with LendingHome's CEO highlighting that the process is particularly stressful for couples and first-time homebuyers.
  7. Solid Foundation After Five Years:

    • The article suggests that couples who have been together for at least five years have a more solid foundation to navigate the challenges of buying a home.

In conclusion, the research underscores the need for couples to carefully consider the timing of their entry into the housing market, with a longer relationship duration potentially serving as a buffer against the stresses and disagreements inherent in the home buying process.

How long you should wait before buying a home with your partner (2024)
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