7 Money Conversations Every Military Couple Should Have Before Deployment (2024)

Deployment

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Navy Federal Credit Union. All opinions are 100% mine.

About a week after dropping my husband at the white bus (which I loathed), a pit fell into my stomach.

He left for another 7 month deployment, and I realized I had no idea how to access and pay his upcoming car insurance bill. I knew it was due soon, but the bill went directly to his email. It was unknown how long he would go without access to personal email. Through the stress of deployment prep, we completely overlooked the car insurance bill conversation.

Considering the stories I’ve heard, this was pretty minor.

Several years ago, I tragically learned about a service member who left for deployment without activating his SGLI. His wife and family were left without that benefit after his death.

Or the time I learned about a spouse who did not have access to a joint bank account before her service member’s deployment. When their washer and dryer both broke down in the same week, she was left scrambling to find the money to cover the expense.

9 Money Conversations to Have Before Deployment

These stories may leave you with your own pit in the stomach, but there is good news. All of these situations are completely avoidable with a few straightforward conversations and some basic planning before deployment.

7 Money Conversations Every Military Couple Should Have Before Deployment (2)

1. How much money do you really have?

It’s important to lay out the facts–all of them. Financial transparency is one of the most powerful things you can do for your relationship. Whether you’ve got a hidden trust fund from great grandma or a mound of credit card debt from college, you’ll want to come completely clean in case something happens to either one of you.

2. What will be your agreed upon budget and savings plan?

Now that you know how much money and debt you have as a couple, you’ll want to consider how you’ll manage that money moving forward. One place to turn if you need financial advice is Navy Federal Credit Union. Since they work specifically with military families, they understand the challenges surrounding deployment.

Here are just a few of their services that can help:

3. Do you both have access to a joint account?

Having a joint bank account is especially important during deployment. This allows you both to see transparently how much money is coming and going. If putting all your money flow into the joint account makes your stomach turn, you can absolutely keep only a certain amount there.

Just remember you’ll want a savings emergency fundin case any unexpected expenses occur like a broken appliance, costly car repair or family emergency where you’d need to buy last minute plane tickets.

If you aren’t sure where is best to do your banking, I highly recommend Navy Federal for your checking and savings accounts.

Why choose Navy Federal?

  • Navy Federal has a variety of fee-free (Yes!) checking accounts that also earn interest.
  • Navy Federal ATMs are conveniently located in grocery stores, 7/11’s and military bases across the country.
  • Their Mobile Banking App makes it easy to do your banking online, including depositing checks.
  • Plus, they are the credit union for the Armed Forces.

4. Are your financial account beneficiaries updated?

This is so important that both you and your spouse update the beneficiaries on all your accounts before deployment. You absolutely want them up-to-date. I know this may sound crazy, but I’ve known situations where service members inadvertently left their ex-spouses as account beneficiaries after life circ*mstances changed.

5. Are your wills and power of attorney updated?

Before deployment you’ll want to talk about your wishes and how you’d like decisions (especially financial ones) made on your behalf. This goes for spouses too. You just never know what can happen. Visit your local base legal office for advisem*nt and they’ll walk you through the process step-by-step.

6. Is your SGLI updated?

Remember if the SGLI is not activated, you cannot receive this benefit. Furthermore, if the correct and intended beneficiary is not filled out correctly, you cannot receive this benefit.

If you and your service member aren’t sure the status of SGLI, you can contact you local Personnel Office to make sure the paperwork is correct and you are paying the monthly insurance amount. It’s always wise to double check this information is correct before deployment.

7. Do you each have account numbers, passwords and payment due dates?

If you’re married, it’s likely you have utility, loan and credit card bills that need to be paid monthly. You’ll want access to account numbers, passwords and payment due dates for everything needed to keep your home and life financially running during deployment. You’ll also want to think of a place to safely store this sensitive information.

8. Will you create a LES release for the military spouse to access?

If your service member is concerned that he or she will be out of communication for long periods of time, he or she can create a LES release for you to access that information. This can help you see how pay is broken down and if anything is missing.

7 Money Conversations Every Military Couple Should Have Before Deployment (3)

9. What accounts can you set to automatic bill pay to avoid late payments?

While this is not necessary, it is a nice option to consider. Setting up automatic bill pay can help make sure everything is paid on time–every time. This can bring a huge sigh of relief during an already very stressful time.

If you’re with Navy Federal Credit Unionyou can set up automatic payments with Bill Pay through your online banking account.

Your turn.

This is a small list of important money conversations to have before a deployment. There are more conversations that could be added. What money conversations are important to you before deployment? What are some money conversations you missed in the past?

7 Money Conversations Every Military Couple Should Have Before Deployment (4)

Want more on military life?

  • One Simple Tool That Will Make Deployment Easier
  • Are Military Spouses Unknowingly Violating OPSEC?
  • 10 Things Military Spouses Won’t Tell You About Deployment
  • Why Deployment Meltdowns Are Actually a Good Thing

Are you new to this community? Start here, friend.

7 Money Conversations Every Military Couple Should Have Before Deployment (6)

About Lauren Tamm

I'm Lauren, a military spouse and Language of Listening® master parent coach. I write about my crazy parenting adventures, discovering happiness in motherhood and navigating the ups and downs of military life. I spend my days re-heating coffee while chasing my kids around the house. Hang around for a bit and join the fun!

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7 Money Conversations Every Military Couple Should Have Before Deployment (2024)

FAQs

How do you keep a relationship strong during deployment? ›

Stay connected.

Make plans for how you will keep in touch, and how often. Stay flexible and patient because schedules and wireless connections may be unstable during deployment. It's important to talk about issues as they arise to prevent pile up. Try to end conversations on a positive note and with a supportive tone.

How do I prepare my husband for deployment? ›

Talk about your feelings and discuss what you expect from each other during the deployment, including how you'll communicate. Create opportunities for lasting memories during the separation. Spend time together in a relaxed atmosphere to create memories that will sustain you during the deployment.

What do you say to your husband before he deploys? ›

Talking about what you will be doing with your money while they are deployed will allow you two to be on the same page. This will help down the line as both of you will know what you can spend and when you could be overspending. If you have the same financial goals, you will be more likely to achieve them.

How much money do military wives get? ›

There is no military spouse pay or stipend, but the military offers a number of benefits to help service members and their families. Your first stop after the wedding should be the nearest military ID card issuing facility to enroll in DEERS, the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System.

Why do couples fight before deployment? ›

There are so many feelings around the deployment and separation that couples find themselves arguing for no specific reason. Perhaps couples think it's easier to separate from someone when you are angry at them. There is a buildup of anxiety and tension until the day of the deployment. The tension decreases.

How do military wives deal with deployment? ›

Marine wife Meghan Lee recommends, "Find a hobby, or something to invest yourself in, to keep busy while he's deployed." Military wife Bobbi agrees. She used to hole herself up in the house with her children whenever her husband was deployed.

Do military wives get paid while on deployment? ›

How much money do military spouses get? Military spouses do not receive pay directly from the military. However, military service members do get a one-time increase in their Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) pay when their spouse (or other dependent) is enrolled in DEERS.

What should I do before deployment? ›

Preparing for Deployment

Learn about creating or updating essential legal documents, organizing your finances, creating a family care plan and designing a contingency plan in case things change. Get organized and prepared for your sake and your family's.

What do you say to a soldier before deployment? ›

Messages for Deployment
  • “Wishing you nothing but the best on your mission.”
  • “You'll be in a lot of people's thoughts, prayers and hearts while you're over there.”
  • “You and your unit are strong, brave, trained and skilled. ...
  • “While you're deployed, please remember how grateful we are for your service.”
Apr 23, 2021

How do you say I love you in the military? ›

5 Ways to Say I Love You to Your Service Member
  1. Valentine's Day Care Package. Everybody loves a good care package. ...
  2. Write Letters. Find the perfect words to let them know how you feel. ...
  3. Get Creative. You don't have to be Martha Stewart to get a little crafty. ...
  4. Create a Private Photo Album. ...
  5. Record a Personalized Message.
Feb 12, 2019

What is a love quote for a military husband? ›

You are the world to me, you are the one person I can be myself with and you can be you without hiding. I love you with all that I am, and who I will be, I cannot wait to be in your arms forever and always :) <3.

What is a love quote for a deployed husband? ›

Our love can withstand the toughest of missions.” “Every deployment is a reminder of the strength of our love.” “Distance means so little when someone means so much.” “Love is the anchor that keeps us grounded in the storm of military life.”

Why do military marry fast? ›

Many are made while men are on leave or furlough. Often the time of the marriage is determined by the approaching end of a short leave. Military promptness and the speed-up of work in war plants tend to hasten marriage. Entrance into service is an abrupt change of status.

What are military wives entitled to? ›

Health and Child Care Benefits

In addition to base pay, military spouses receive something similar to shared healthcare insurance. As a civilian or military spouse, you will have access to Tricare, which is the military's healthcare service.

Do military wives get free tuition? ›

The GI Bill pays 100% of tuition and fees for eligible military spouses and dependents, up to the maximum in-state tuition for public schools, and up to $22,805.34 per academic year for private or foreign schools. But first, you must have benefits transferred from the servicemember to their spouse.

How do deployments affect relationships? ›

The relentless pressure of deployment separation can deteriorate even the strongest marriage. Combat deployment places a whole family at risk of losing a loved one. If the loved one comes home, however, the second risk is losing love itself. Combat is tough on marriages and always has been.

Do deployment relationships work? ›

Relationships do change when your loved one deploys. When you put miles and time zones between couples, along with a lack of communication opportunities, it can feel unbearable. If you're willing to put in the time, commitment, and loyalty, it's possible to survive deployment as a couple.

How do you maintain a relationship with a soldier? ›

Give Support Near or Far

The most important part of a military relationship is to know that your member needs your support. Whether they are stateside or deployed, your understanding and love makes their time in the service much easier.

How do you keep a long-distance relationship in the military? ›

5 Long-Distance Tips for Military Couples
  1. Discuss expectations. Discussing the details of the deployment and setting expectations ahead of time can take away some of the uncertainty and anxiety while you're apart. ...
  2. Get creative with how you stay in touch. ...
  3. Lean on your support network. ...
  4. Focus on self-care. ...
  5. Reach out for help.
Apr 18, 2023

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